Guys, I have a theory. Pornography destroys marriage!
The more we watch porn, the less motivated we are to romance our wives. And the less we romance our wives, the less they will want to have sex with us. And the less they want to have sex with us, the more we will feel rejected. And the more we are rejected, the less we work on the marriage. And the more this endless circle continues, the more we hate each other, the more we are likely to cheat and the greater the chance we will divorce.
Before anyone jumps on me, I believe that most things in life, when used in moderation, can be fun and safe. It is when things are used in excess, like food, alcohol, drugs and even porn, that they can have an adverse affect on one’s life. So for you casual users of porn, I see no problem. If you need to use porn as“filler” here and there, I don’t see it adversely affecting your marriage. And I know a lot of men that use porn with their wives on occasion to spice things up. That’s cool too!
But here’s my theory:
Men are programmed to have a regular “release”. Many women don’t believe that, but the fact is we need to ejaculate on an almost daily basis. If we are in a loving partnership, then the romantic interaction between husband and wife addresses this just fine. It is when there are stresses or problems in the marriage that the man starts to turn to external stimuli for his “daily dose”.
You see, the buildup of semen in a man creates what we in society refer to as “horniness”. Horniness is one of the driving forces behind romance. I believe that a man’s drive for romance is driven by both emotional as well as physical factors.
So here’s the dilemma!
If there is a gap in romance and sex in the marriage, then the man will turn to external stimuli to release. Hopefully it will just be porn and not other women!
But the more we release, by taking it into our own hands (pardon the pun!), the less we will be hormonally driven to romance our wives. And the less we romance our wives, the worse the communication becomes in the marriage. And so we start an endless spiral in the marriage where the topics of love and romance cause arguments and battle wounds instead of fostering kindness and selfless behavior.
But I have a cure! And it is not in the form of a pill (sorry Big Pharma!)
Stop watching porn and stop masturbating!
Let’s get so unbearably horny that we have no other option but to romance our wives into submission. Talk about kick starting your marriage all over again, like when you were dating!
I always think about Mohammed Ali, the boxing champion, reading a quote about how he did not ejaculate for months before a fight. He wanted to build up so much pent up energy and drive that he nobody could beat him in the ring. He became Heavyweight Champion of the World, so that strategy must have paid off.
Let’s be like “The Greatest” as Ali referred to himself, and be “The Greatest Husband” by changing our behavior and taking charge of our marriage. Your wife wants to be romanced. She wants you to lead. She wants you to be THE MAN! And if you do, she will reciprocate like she did when you were dating and did all those things.
In my book, “The Man’s Secret to a Happy and Sexy Marriage in Less Than 10 Minutes a Day”, I have a chapter called “101 Ways to Have a Sexy Marriage”. Reactivate your marriage by implementing some of those ideas and actions with your wife.
You’ll forget you even had a computer!
Steve Schloss is the author of “The Man’s Secret to a Happy and Sexy Marriage in Less Than 10 Minutes a Day”
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